TOP 5!

5 things I took most for granted before Meheba:
1) Having citizenship.
2) Knowing where my family is.
3) Access to information.
4) Friendship.
5) Duct tape.

5 crazy quotes from Meheba*:
1) “The whites have an invisible airplane that runs on human blood.”
2) “Mobutu Sese Seko (former dictator of Zaire, now Democratic Republic of Congo) had x-ray vision glasses and his wife used to kill people with her deadly back flips.”
3) “There is a black mamba snake in block B that is actually white, and it kills you by flying into your head and piercing you with a venomous claw on its tail.”
4) “There is a lady in block A who can reach block G in less than 20 minutes, the only explanation is that she flies.”
5) “FORGE may have access to that building when the suspected Wizards vacate its premises.”- An officer from the Zambian Ministry of Community Development and Social Services.

Runners Up (2 stories and a quote):
1) Seeing a young boy kill a rat, befriend and keep the dead animal as a pet in the morning, and eat it for dinner in the evening (witnessed this one myself).
2) Having dozens of unknown refugees ask to take a picture with you at church the first week you arrive, then finding pictures of yourself in the homes of refugees you don’t know 6 weeks later.
3) “I can’t come for dinner that late because there will be demons on my way back.”

*Really, you can’t make this stuff up, magic is very serious business in Meheba.

5 most unexpected forms of entertainment:
1) Watching insects knock themselves unconscious by repeatedly flying into the ceiling/walls.
2) Watching cats sleep. Or play, or cuddle, or hunt, or clean each other, or…
3) The game “SET.”
4) Killing ants.
5) Listening to refugees make fun of American accents.

5 of the most delicious foods in Meheba:
1) Pineapples (rarely available).
2) Fresh garlic (rarely available).
3) Avocados (rarely available).
4) Fried sweet potatoes.
5) Fanta.

5 least delicious foods in Meheba:
1) Caterpillars (haven’t actually tried them, but they don’t look appetizing).
2) Dried minnows (tiny little fish that smell very fishy).
3) Milk Maheyu (a really sweet, yet sour, grainy cornmeal drink).
4) Nshima (boiled cornmeal dough, eaten daily by Angolans, not a big fan of it myself).
5) Cassava (a bitter potato like starchy vegetable).

Commonly found foods in Meheba:
1) Beans (eaten daily)
2) Rice (eaten daily)
3) Cabbage (2-3 times per week)
4) Onion (daily, usually mixed with rice, or beans, or cabbage)
5) Tomato (daily, usually mixed with rice, or beans, or cabbage)
6) Rape (a dark leafy green, 2-3 times a week)
7) Chinese (like Bok Choi, 1-2 times a week)
8) Peanuts (usually for lunch)
9) Bananas (also for lunch)
10) Popcorn (the only snack food)
11) Potatoes (sweet, and regular, 1-2 times a week)
12) Bread (breakfast, thank God!)
12 things may sound like a lot, but that’s ALL there is. When rotating them everyday, there’s really not much variety, trust me.

5 favorite new slang terms:
1) “To Hammer.” An all purpose word that has many practical uses. To hit, to be hit, to be overcome, to overcome…
In a sentence that was actually used by one of our employees, “I saw a black mamba coming down the path! First Bartho screamed and hammered himself into the bush. Then I screamed too and the bike hammered me when I swerved into the bush. Then we got up and started throwing stones at the snake, just hammering it!”
2) “Peddle Down.” To bike fast.
In a sentence, “I am so exhausted, I was peddling down all day, from A to D and back home.”
3) “That Side.” A term used to refer to anywhere but wherever you are when the term is used, similar to “over there.”
In a sentence, “And how are things that side?” “I’ve just come from that side” “Where is everyone that side?”
4) Chimbo. A term in Luvale (local African language) that means cheap, backwards, a simpleton, or ignorant.
In a sentence, “My bike is so chimbo, it’s going to fall apart any day now.”
5) Eeway. Another Luvale term. A combination of “hey you” and “get lost.”
In a sentence, To the neighborhood kids, “Eeway! Stop clicking the gears on my bike.” To our cat, who is also named Eeway (he really lives up to his namesake), “Eeway, get out of there, that was going to be MY dinner.”